Monitoring Your Teen On The Web
One of the most common themes in parenting magazines these days is the Internet. I can understand where parents are coming from here, since the Internet simply wasn't around when they were kids. It's only natural to fear the unknown. Young parents though, are in a situation where they actually have experience with computers and the internet - so they're in a much better position when it comes to protecting their kids.
It's pretty common knowledge that giving your child 100% unrestricted access to the internet isn't a good idea - but neither is standing over their shoulder every second. A few short years ago many parenting columnists would tell parents that monitoring kids internet usage is the key to protection. Tons of filtering, blocking, and snooping programs popped up and parents began installing them, and guess what? Reports of kids getting into trouble online and being solicited for sex increased at an exponential rate.
What happened?
We took the wrong approach. We concentrated so much on sheltering and protecting our kids that we forgot to educate them. Many parents simply blocked all the bad stuff and pretended it didn't exist. That's not the best strategy.
There's a fine line between giving your child too much internet freedom and being an overbearing parent. The first step is to actually educate your child about what to do on the internet. This should cover meeting strangers, giving out personal information, and use of videos and pictures. You should talk about the dangers of meeting somebody online who you don't know. You should remind them what information they shouldn't be giving out, and you should talk about how pictures and videos on the web never really go away. Talk about thinks like how those pictures of you making sexual poses are funny now, but how will they look to a potential employer in 5 years when they Google your name?
When it comes to monitoring your child online you should "monitor without monitoring." More simply, you should just look at the public information your child is putting on the internet. What's on their MySpace, and Facebook account? What are they talking about on Twitter? Do they have a blog? What type of videos are they posting on YouTube? What comes up when you type their name into Google? If your teen starts questioning your about "spying" you should take this time to remind them that all of this information is public and can be browsed by anybody. Many teens simply don't realize that people outside of their circle can view this information.
There's tons of signs to look for too. Are they MySpace friends with random older people? Ask them why they are. Many of these girls sneaking off to meet older men scenarios could simply be avoided if a parent had noticed the MySpace friendship or comments first.
It's perfectly normal now for a parent to have their own MySpace account. Add your child as a friend. Do they use AOL Instant Messenger or Yahoo? Add them to your buddy list. It's amazing what some teens actually post in their away messages (like their cell phone number, or the fact that they're out of town, etc.)
Don't be afraid to look at child's internet footprint. Depsite what they may argue, it's not a violation of their privacy. Remind your child that all of the stuff they post online can be seen by anybody and may never go away. Pretty soon we're going to start seeing all of these MySpace pictures and YouTube videos surface as kids get older and move into more public roles. It's never too late to think about what you're putting online if you aspire to be a teacher, policeman, politician, CEO, or hold any other position where these things may come back to haunt you.
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